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18 August, 2014

Love?

Love is a drug
That's true! I've been in a few relationships and I know that love really is a drug. It can makes you feel good when you have it...sometimes it gives you bad feeling.
However, I do not really fall for the latter effect. When love tends to make me feel uncomfortable, I just stop it. That's the case for my previous relationships. I don't really have problem with ending a relationship as long as I believe it doesn't worth anymore to hold it.
Life is meaningful and the best love only goes to the best lover. Not everyone is the best lover. At maybe some point in time you think a person is the best one, then for few years later, you realized that you were wrong. Well, just don't buy into stuff so prematurely. Use both heart and brain. Only the best person deserve the best of my care. And when I settle down (cough cough... In a very long time), there will be and only one who stays beside me forever.

Not human is humane

I happen to see one fragment in Cambodia's people mindset : lack of trust.
Probably I cannot blame anybody for this since this is one thing happens after civil war. In genocide, people were forced to kill their friends. Good guy wouldn't live long. There was a word created by those crazy murderers called "Svai Ris Kun" which means to criticize yourself. Sometime it goes beyond that. Intellectual were considered enemy. Those who were honest were murdered and those who hid their identity might also be dead-because of their friends... reporting them.
Trust began to fade. Doubt took over people since. 
I witness myself that they couldn't easily restore their original mind even it has been already 35 years already. They do not feel secured with people. They do not generally try to be generous. This trauma is not easily healed. It has been embedded in their mind. 
Being a healthcare provider and a young human, I try to be as humane as possible. I help a lot of people without me getting any returns. Yes, I don't have salary. But that doesn't stop me from trying my best to give them the best I could. I just want to help.
Unfortunately, the fragment still exists especially among older Cambodians. However, I am very confident that in the near future, trust will regain its power back and the perfect fantasy people are dreaming of will be made real.